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Because they liked sole music! Right back — right back in the changing rooms Why did the footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? They were the skipper! What do you call a [insert team here] player in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee! Sign in Edit Account Sign Out. Distractions Jokes 50 football jokes to make you laugh - or groan By Alex Nelson.
Updated Friday, 6th September , pm.
Jokes for kids: big list of sport riddles
But you don't have to take the beautiful game completely seriously. Prepare to laugh - or groan - at these 50 clean football jokes:. What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Why was the footballer upset on their birthday? They got a red card! Which football team loves ice-cream? Aston Vanilla!
New Jersey! If this is the first time you have subscribed to emails from JPIMedia Ltd, the publishers of inews, please check your inbox to verify your email address. Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Photo: Shutterstock. What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common? Both do hat-tricks!
The Best Sports Jokes Ever!
What is a goalkeeper's favourite snack? Beans on post! Why don't grasshoppers watch football? They prefer cricket! What is a ghost's favourite football position? Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra? It has a lot of support but no cups!
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Who scored the most goals in the Greek Mythology League? The centaur forward! The other half is physical. Yeah, the head took another hit today, and I'm not talking about weed. What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man? Scoring like no one has ever seen! Why was a tiny ghost invited to play on the football squad? They needed a little team spirit. Why didn't the crappy NFL football team have a website?
Hilarious Football Jokes (and a few groaners)
When should football players wear armor? Only when they play knight games. Why were the pro tennis player's neighbors so upset? Because she always made such a big racquet.
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How can you tell your tennis opponent isn't happy with your serve? He keeps returning it!
Did you hear about the tennis ball and battery that got into a fight? The battery was charged and the tennis ball is waiting to go to court. Why do some people dislike tennis?
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Because it's a wacky sport. Why couldn't the olympian listen to music? Because he broke the record! Why won't Cinderella ever medal at the Olympics? She has a pumpkin for a coach, plus she runs away from the ball. Gym Pick-Up Line : You must be a track star because you've been running through my mind all day! The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money.
Workout Wisecrack: Remember, your brain needs exercise, too. So, spend lots of time thinking up excuses not to work out.
Gym Pick-Up Line : Hey girl, let's do lunge! Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually the first bodybuilder? Marathon pun readers suffer in agony, as well. What did the blonde runner drink when she was in last place? A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh.
30 Funny Baseball Jokes and Comics
I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes. Did you have anything planned for dinner? Just relax and enjoy the moment. Which cord was I supposed to cut? You're not using the right words.